Trump Speak

Websters has just announced that in its 2021 revised dictionary edition there will be a special section devoted to the meaning of common words and phrases uttered by the 45th President of the United States, Donald John Trump (DJT). These words and phrases, often very familiar to most, are used by DJT in completely different ways, thus making complete sense of much of what he says difficult to comprehend. Websters is providing this special section in order to alert the public to possible confusions regarding what DJT actually means as he meanders through his word salad of non-teleprompter statements.

The 13th Clown, using his extraordinary skills as an investigative clown, was able to obtain the entire document for review. As a benefit to his many, well, several readers, he is providing some of the most often-used words and phrases that DJT uses in discourse with the press, the public and Vladimir Putin.

For each phrase, which has actually been uttered by DJT in press conferences or speeches, there follows a translation providing DJT’s meaning for clarification. Enjoy!

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“We’re looking into it. We’ll see what happens.” DJT meaning: “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

“It will be a beautiful, maybe the best ever (test, vaccine, census question, wall, conversation, etc).” DJT meaning: “I just heard about it on Fox and Friends this morning.”

“(He, She) is a complete moron.” DJT meaning: “I really, really hate smart people.”

“These QAnon people love their country and they like me.” DJT meaning: “If they’ll vote for me, I don’t care about damaging the Party’s image. I am, and they are, the Republican Party.”

“My administration has done more on (civil rights, law and order, healthcare, defense, trade, the deficit, international relations, etc,) than any other in history.” DJT meaning: “My grasp of American history pretty much stops back at my inauguration.”

“It was a perfect conversation, perfect and beautiful but mostly perfect.” DJT meaning: “He seems to like me.”

“Look, I went to an Ivy League school. I know words. I have the best words.” DJT meaning: “Covfeve.”

“I think (he), (she), is great from what I know but I barely know (him), (her) but they are being treated very unfairly so I wish them well.” DJT meaning: “If (he), (she) doesn’t rat me out, there’s a pardon in the deal.”

“She’s a doctor, one of the best ever, and she has a lot of beautiful information about COVID. Everyone should pay attention.” DJT meaning: “She’s dissing masks, promoting hydroxychloroquine so I don’t care about her ‘demon sperm’ theory. Beside, many are saying the theory is true, I’m not sure but many are saying it.”

“But we had, in 2016, something even more so, but we got in, and we had 306 to, I guess, 223, which was a tremendous margin of difference. You remember, they all said, ‘He cannot get to 270.’ I went to Maine a number of times, where we just freed up lobster fishing and fishing. Just—they took away 5,000 square miles from Maine. I just opened it up. And I just got rid of tariffs in China. And we’re working on European Union, which charge our fishermen tariffs. And I said, ‘You’re not going to do that. So we freed it up for Maine.'” DJT meaning: “Complete thoughts, not to mention complete sentences, are overrated.”

“The press is the enemy of the people.” DJT meaning: “These bastards keep digging up actual shit about me and my loyal family so I’ll keep my base happy by convincing the hapless rubes that journalists are snotty, elite liars.

“It’s a hoax.” DJT meaning: “If they ever prove it, I’m going to jail.”

“I only hire the best people.” DJT meaning: “I only hire my immediate family and cronies. That way, the money we make from this presidential gig stays close to home.”

“I’m also honored to have the greatest temperament that anybody has.” DJT meaning: “My temperament is perfect, it’s 98.6, right on the dot. It’s tremendous. I let Dr. Fauci, who has been wrong about certain things, take my temperament because he’s a doctor. He says my temperament is the best he’s ever seen, probably the most beautiful temperament of all time.”

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The Clown could go on and on but his brain is beginning to throb.

 

Observoid of the Day: George Orwell finally feels fully vindicated.

 

 

 

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5 Responses to Trump Speak

  1. William P. Grant says:

    OK. Not too bad. To get that old thinker un-throbed, how about a list of Biden Blurbs and Blunders.

    • Brooke says:

      I will use that first statement on the daily as I start virtual learning with my 7th and 12th grader next week. I will say it with authority too. And I, too, will have no idea what they are talking about.

  2. Ty says:

    Nice!! Now do Biden!!!

  3. Anonymous says:

    Thanks 13th C for the info, but one was missing.

    What do you suppose was the meaning of this one,
    Issued when Trump learned Mueller being appointed to investigate this campaign?

    “Oh my God. This is terrible. This is the end of my presidency. I’m f****ed,”

    Tmb

  4. Diane Tolley says:

    Yeah. My brain hurts as well…
    Genius, as always, Mr. Clown!

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